When was the last time you rejected an invite from someone you didn’t want to see or said “no” to something you didn’t want to do?
If you’ve to think about it, maybe it’s time to be selfish, and no, it’s not wrong. The word “self” is wrongly interpreted nowadays. We don’t openly prioritize our own needs, even when we crave self-care. The last two years have been the most stressful of times for most of the world, and even after the pandemic, we’re unable to set boundaries. What we don’t realize is that for self-care, we need to be more selfish. That, too, requires time and energy.
Are you exhausted of the people that you can’t trust in your life? Is it because you engage in excessive people-pleasing, or you’ve got a fear of confrontation? It’s time you think of yourself first. If you feel resentful and angry, it’s a warning sign that your boundaries are being constantly crossed.
What Is the Definition of Selfish?
If you search the word on Google, scroll through the page, all you get is egotistical, self-centered, greedy, and self-serving. But that’s not what selfish exactly means. Think of it the other way. Being selfish means vocalizing what you want, asking for your comfort and convenience, and clarifying your boundaries. Isn’t that something bold? Even if you’re greedy, it’s for your own needs. You can make the world around you better. To be selfish, you need to believe in yourself. You need to believe that you deserve better and are treated better.
Selfishness: What’s The Bad Kind?
There might be people who disagree that selfishness is good. We know. There is another side to selfishness. The bad kind of selfishness is when you become selfish for malicious use. It’s bad when you take advantage of selfishness to gain something out of it. This can start with negative emotions like hate, arrogance, envy and can create fights. This is not what we need. This is bad. You want to be the good kind of selfish, and that’s when you keep yourself first and allow yourselves to be good for others.
Start Saying “No”
Be selfish; it’s a compliment, not a negative point about your personality. You can do so by practicing saying “no.” Say no to anything you don’t want to do and without trying to explain why. For example, if you don’t want to go to an invited party, an easy way to decline is to say, “I thought about it, but it’s a no from me,” or you can just say, “Unfortunately, I can’t make it.” It may feel awkward at first, but later it’ll get better, and you can choose to live your way.
Why Is Being Selfish Good? The Benefits.
Selfish people live their own way, doing activities they like to do. If you develop a sense of who you are and what you enjoy, you’ll be able to communicate it better to others. You will feel happier. If you put yourself first, it’s not a negative quality. You can take care of yourself and get what you need. No one can stop you. Once you’re self-aware, you’re a positive person. Those who can focus better are more authentic and happier.
If you’re selfish, there is a less likely chance that people can manipulate and take advantage of you. Set your boundaries straight, whether it’s platonic or romantic. If you’ve any trouble being self-focused, you’ll have trouble saying no. To be more grounded and healthier, you need to be selfish. In a relationship, partners get dependent, and that often leads to problems. If you look for partners that can fill your emotional needs, you are vulnerable. The best relationship is when two adults enjoy each other and show up.
Higher Self Esteem
To improve your self-esteem, you need to become selfish. Self-esteem means that you believe in your capabilities and you’re confident. When you’re confident in yourself, you feel like you’re worthy of a happy life, no matter how many people tell you otherwise. Train yourself to ignore the negatives and become successful. This is not being arrogant; this is being ambitious for what’s next.
The Last Note
Being selfish doesn’t change who you are. It only changes the way you function. Also, it just doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time.
Suppose you’re a team leader, and your team makes mistakes and failures occur. What do you do? Take it on yourself and spend all your time trying to prevent them, being too close. Right? Well, how about just not accepting that for yourself? You can make prevention the mission instead of letting the failure happen. The progress and reward will not only stress out your team, but you’ll be relieved, and won’t have to spend all your self-time on your work and the mistakes of others. Selfish, but better for everyone.
Take a chance, be selfish. We won’t tell anyone!